i can't remember the last time i felt lost in this sensation.to be broken and whole at the same time.i am bitter about ending something this beautiful but i know i can't torture the poor boy anymore.but in a weird way,i think i feel calm.i feel really light.my heart is drenched.my eyes sore from the tears i shed.i am unsure what it regarding of.my mind is empty.i don't know how to feel.if time heals all,i hope it will heal me.i hope.i pray for it to heal me.and all those that i hurt.i never meant to be so lost.i never meant to be so unsure.i never meant to make those awful decisions.i am stupid i know.selfish in fact.
dear god,please make things better.i want things to be better again.i want to feel safe again.but i burnt my nest and broke the one heart that was certain that he loved me.i wish my heart was whole when he found me.this would've been a beautiful story.
i am sorry.
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